David O'Brien On the Scots.

Last updated : 03 July 2002 By David O'Brien
Another season looms for Everton and again another Manager takes the plunge with the poisoned chalice job. Most Everton fans are probably sick of false dawns and it will have occurred to them that this could be another one.

On the positive side, it appears that Everton are at least attempting to hold onto their players, although why anyone would want Archie Gemmill strolling around the pitch, doing bugger all except for being Scottish and having a big nose is beyond anyone in the known Universe. Most Everton fans would probably be happy with a top half finish and maybe some sort of cup run. To be honest Everton have to do something to keep anyone interested, people laugh at the mention of the club.

Rooney and Chadders could make waves this year, home grown talent pushing its way into the first team. Money is not everything, ask Alex Ferguson although Veron would disagree. There has been mention of a Chinese player ‘Lie Tie' or ‘Who Flung Dung', it will be interesting to see whom Moyes signs. Signings as well as tactics mark a manager's ability and we have not seen anything in the way of transfer activity yet.

No point in boring on about the World Cup, we didn't win and Scotland didn't qualify. The time is dragging until the next corporate owned pay per blink Season starts and I for one can't wait, last year I predicted Arsenal would win the Premiership although this was more in hope of Man Utd being Shite, which we all know they were. This year I think Arsenal will take the title again, Liverpool's Gallic bubble will burst to reveal Houllier as the control freak he is, they will finish fourth. Man Utd will be worse than they were last year but will scrape into third again, behind a rejuvenated Everton, I mean Newcastle in second.

Strange how Ferguson played a left winger (Gigs) up front and Ole (striker) on the left wing. This sounds scarily familiar to Everton's previous manager, perhaps it has something to do with being Scottish. Or perhaps a twisted co-incidence incorporating a touch of Scottish. I feel aggrieved about the Scottish after seeing them cheering for Argentina, there was also a scene in Glasgow city centre, in a square where a large screen had been erected for the public to watch. The entire square was empty apart from about a dozen people. Thanks for the support Scotland. I'll nay abeet the neet, gibber gibber.


Blatent Disclaimer: Before anyone gets upset, were joking. Ok? One of our columnists is Scottish, so please, bear this is mind before anyone starts writing to their MP. Phew. :-)