Ref Off!

For many, the mere mention of the word catalogue will no doubt bring back memories of getting back from school to find that the Grattan Spring/Summer collection has been left on the doorstep and your mum's not home yet so you'll get away with a quick flick to the lingerie section before she gets back.


Obviously, you'd keep one finger in the toys and games bit in case she came back early.


No? Just me then?


Anyway, Alan Wiley will not be taking charge of a match this weekend after he failed to show David Dunn a yellow card for deliberate hand ball and failed to give Andy Johnson (another) nailed on penalty.


To be fair to Wiley, I probably agree with his decision not to send Dunn off and people are always bemoaning the fact that they'd sooner see 11 versus 11…that is until the player in question is involved in an incident that directly affects the outcome of the match, like clearing one off the line!


Wiley's punishment for these blunders will be to stand in the technical area at Stamford Bridge on Sunday and be fourth official as Chelsea take on Liverpool.


And I'm sure that having Avram Grant scare the shit out of you with that weird smile he does and have Rafael 'Rafa/Fuck off' Benitez make your ears bleed with his constant moaning is more than punishment enough for the official.


Meanwhile, Glenn Turner, the linesman with the nervous tick that flagged Andy Johnson's 86th minute 'goal' offside in the same game has, seemingly, got off more lightly than Mr Wiley as he has been dropped from the weekend's fixtures altogether.


So that gives him a chance to decorate that front room like he's been promising to do for months now.


Either that or flick through this season's Grattan!