Sh*t ground, sh*t fans.

By Parkend Preacher
Last updated : 28 April 2008
And that's no mean feat considering there's only one home game left and
we've been 'entertained' by fans of Chelsea, Sunderland and let's not leave out the Shite with their hilarious Tesco bag stunt.

Obviously, we've still got Newcastle to come but I don¹t think that even they can pip Villa for their showing yesterday!

Yes, they were worse than a coachload of Geordies.

And for such a big club from such a big city, and they actually brought a big following for once, they were pure football league with their smalltown boy chants and antics.

The real high, or low, point for me came when they started singing 'Let's all have a disco' and coupled it with an arms-in-the-air pogo dance...a bit like the one Wigan do when they score at home.

Old favourites such as 'Sign on', and 'We pay your benefits' were wheeled out, as well as a new variation on an old classic as the Brummy beauts belted out 'You're the shit of Liverpool' - quite what Tranmere have done to deserve being left out of this one is beyond me but I'm sure they won't be happy!

Then there was the John Carew song…

There was me thinking that the Shite couldn't be topped with their toe-curling chant of 'Steve Gerrard, Gerrard, He's big and he's hard, he's hard' when Villa came out with the immortal words 'John Carew, Carew, He's bigger that me and you'.

Or should that be a Harry Enfield-style 'He's considerably bigger than you'?!

Then there was the bizarre 'Karma Chameleon' inspired (!) Gabriel Agbonlohor song which went, if I heard it correctly and there's a good chance I never, 'Gaby, Gaby, Gaby, Gaby, Gaby Agbonlohor, he's fast as Thor, he's fast as Thor'.

Now I know the Norse god of thunder could go a fair lick when he threw that Hammer but he wasn't really renowned for his turn of pace...that was the Flash....and Billy Whizz.

There was a crap song that was their attempt to let everyone know that they're from Birmingham....which got me wondering which part of Birmingham they're actually from, Aston or Villa? Or is Aston Villa a place? I'm just not sure and I don't even care!

All of these chants were interspersed with the sort of chant that has been cropping up a lot this season and smacks of pure self importance from fans who don't seem to realise that it is actually socially acceptible to sometimes just sit quietly and watch the match.

I'm all for singing, and there's nothing like a roaring Goodison, but really, sometimes people just can't be arsed or need to be picked up by the team so it does my head in when, after a period of quiet the aways start singing the usual, 'Shall we sing a song for you', 'Worst support we've everseen' (really?!) and 'Shit ground, shit fans'.

Now why does it make you shit fans just because you aren't singing? And I'd sooner sing nothing at all than chant some of the smalltown shite that Villa were coming out with!

And, just when you thought they couldn't be any more football league in their chants and support they came out with that lower league staple as Tim Howard ran up to take a free kick.

Yes they really did sing 'ooooooh you are shit ahhhh' as our American stopper leathered the ball upfield in the direction of Andy Johnson's head…inevitably though it found the head of Zat Knight!

It'll take a monumental effort from Newcastle to beat that shower yesterday, but if any team are up to the task, it's our friends from the North East!
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