Nothing in this game for two in a bed.
By Les Roberts
Updated Tuesday, 1st December 2009
Everton's financial results have been announced - yes, I'm bored already too - and a cursory glance at the official site would have you believe that we're in the black. When in fact we are, like most, in the red!
Even the picture accompanying the article on the site is an Everton badge set against a black background.
Obviously there's no way they'd put it against a red background but it's still very misleading.
There's loads of seeminglay arbitrary figures being bandied around and the old favourite, record turnover, is trumpeted once more.
Not that it makes an ounce of difference to anything - it's all about profit at any level - but turnover is up £4 million on last year and is now £79.7 million.
Wages now account for 62 per cent of turnover - compared to 59 per cent last year - the irony being that during that period most of our biggest earners have been out injured!
Which brings us to profit and, not wanting to just come out and say "In spite of the great cup run and fifth placed finish we still managed to operate at a loss last year", the club instead issued this convoluted statement:
As a result of the increased turnover, and further investment in the playing squad, the Company posted an operating profit excluding player trading of £6.3 million. The inclusion of the amortisation of players' registrations of £13 million gave rise to an overall operating loss of £6.7 million.
Which would probably even confuse the fuck out of the most seasoned accountant.
As far as I can read into it, the club would have made a profit had it not been for this "amortisation of players' registrations" which could be anything ranging from signing on fees to agents fees to heavily-lined pockets.
The upshot is that the club have had to write-off £13 million!
And no end of year report would be complete without some irrelevant doublespeak from Bill Kenwright - how Toffeeweb was that sentence?!
Our Chairman made this little cracker of a statement on the club's financial affairs:
"To again finish fifth in what remains Europe's toughest and most unforgiving league was a magnificent achievement - one which guaranteed another European campaign which continued the steady progress which has hall-marked David Moyes' tenure as manager.
He added: "Maintaining our progress, continuing to punch above our weight if you like, will be very difficult but I stand by my assertion that we have a manager who will go down as one of our all time greats and a squad of players that is amongst our very best over the last two decades.
Furthermore: "As has always been the case, David was fully supported by myself and by my fellow Board members. He remains the single, most important figure at the Club and we all strive - on a daily basis - to provide him with the tools he believes are necessary if we are to continue to evolve and develop into a genuine, meaningful force within both English and European football. o;
Is he taking the piss with that last paragraph?
The tools that David Moyes needs to make Everton "continue to evolve and develop into a genuine, meaningful force within both English and European football" is a shit load of money...and we've quite clearly not got a pot to piss in!