Christ, if we did a story on every player Everton aren't going to sign I'd never leave my keyboard...like some little downtrodden news monkey that deals in nothing but non-stories!

Anyway, Coventry signed Westwood from Carlisle United in 2008 for £500,000 and he is now wanted by several Premier League clubs including ourselves.

Other teams in the frame are Tottenham (obviously!) and Sunderland...who are fast becoming the rumour mill's new Middlesbrough now the teesiders have dropped out of the top flight!

Anyway, we're not going to be bidding for the young Irishman on the basis that: a) we have no money and 2) we don't really need a goalkeeper!

Anyone seen John Ruddy lately?!

And, for any Swedes out there, you fancy translating this one...

Johan, 15, lämnar MFF för Everton

As far as I can work out were signing a 15-year-old Swede called Johan...maybe Mrs Moyes needs a hand with the kids or something!