God help us

Last updated : 12 May 2010 By Les Roberts

The South African schemer has now decided to put any decision on his future on hold until after the World Cup, an assertion that flies in the face of his agent's assertions that it would all be sorted out before the tournament begins.

The midfielder is still making the right noises in terms of being an Everton player and wanting to stay at the club but this latest move looks like a definite case of putting himself in the shop window.

And, in what is potentially the most amazing swerving of a question ever, Pienaar has said that  any decision on his Everton future is going to be left to God...no, really!

When asked if he'll be an Everton player next season Pienaar said, without a hint of irony and in that dead mad deep voice: "You have to ask God that. If God wants me to come back after the World Cup healthy and happy then I'll be here."

......

Come on Steve, we've always suspected that you've got God as your speed dial number 2, but telling us we've got to ask God if you're going to be at Everton next season is taking it a bit far!

And my money's on him trotting out in a Tottenham shirt next term!

In another awful rumour that's started doing the rounds, Mikel Arteta will be Arsenal bound should the London club sell Cesc Fabregas to Barcelona in the summer.

But one player who'll still be with the Blues next season, and the season after that, and the season after that, and the season after that, is Tim Cahill.

Our Antipodean hot shot is close to agreeing a new four-year deal with the club and has said: "The chairman knows my thoughts, I will sign here for life. He knows my thoughts on what I love about this club."

Amen to that!