And yes, the headline was just an excuse to litter the article with Alan Partridge quotes and direct you to this site.
Anway, this season, Louis Saha has had his best ever start to a Premier League season after netting his seventh league goal of the campaign against West Ham...he must have a foot like a traction engine!
So, ever mindful of players frigging off after a decent season or two, the Blues are to open contract negotiations with the Frenchman in January...back of the net!
Everton signed Saha from Manchester United for £2 million in the summer of 2008 - I thought he was signed on a free - on a two-year deal with the option of a further 12 months...cashback!
And, given his great form since playing for Everton, the club are ready to negotiate a new, improved deal for the striker to stave off any interest from other teams as Saha can negotiate with foreign teams in the new year...butter my arse!
Everton rejected an £8 million bid from Fenerbache in the summer and are probably expecting more offers for the player when the transfer window re-opens.
Cock. Piss. Partridge.
Don't worry Lynn, I'll play it down!