Everton kick off their pre-season preparations at the weekend with simultaneous friendlies at Bury and Port Vale.
The first team squad has been split up, presumably by Moysie lining them up and alternately numbering each of them one and two. All the ‘ones' are going to Bury and the ‘twos' are off to Port Vale.
Rumour has it that Alessandro Pistone nearly ballsed it all up as he couldn't remember what number he was. Fortunately, Moyes was spared the embarrassment of lining the players back up and re-numbering them when Mick Rathbone stepped in to tell him that Pistone couldn't play anyway because he only has one leg.
So If you fancy seeing Andy Johnson bag a hat-trick, or at least look a bit nippy up front, then
And, if Johnson is having a bit of a ‘mare, you'll get to hear someone shout: “Get Spencer on! Or that Anichebe lad! Give the kids a chance dithering Dave!”
Or, if you want to see Joleon Lescott marshalling the defence and keeping the likes of Nathan Lowndes and Lee Matthews at bay, then get yourself along to Vale Park.
Lescott and Weir will have to keep their eyes on Vale's new signing, Akpo Sodje (yes, he is related to Efe who used to play for Crewe) who netted eight goals in 19 games for Darlington last season.
Most people will probably want to see Johnson's debut, but for others, it could be a chance to erase the memory of the St. Valentine's Day massacre of 1996 when we went out of the FA Cup 1-2 in a round four replay.
They still talk about that match round there you know!
In other team news, Iain Turner is in goal for the Bury game and Richard Wright is between the sticks at Vale Park.
Tim Howard must be at a wedding or something!
Everton have also released pictures of the new away kit. It's pretty much the same design as the home shirt (with the Umbro diamond up on the collar bone and that mad detailing on the shoulder) but it's white with navy shorts.
Quite why we need a new kit every season these days is beyond me, but if it means we never wear that grey and black abomination ever again then it can't be a bad thing.
Presumably, neither side will be wearing it at the weekend as both Bury and Port Vale play in white shirts.
You can see it, modelled by the big-faced Nuno Valente, on the official website:
http://www.evertonfc.com/news/archive/away-kit-revealed.html
Incidentally, don't you think the first picture, the one with the cloudy background, looks like one of the weird worms-eye view pictures they used to take of the Scottish players in the old Panini sticker books?
No, just me then?!
Anyway, take your pick from one of these two teams and have a good weekend y'all!
Bury v Everton – Gigg Lane 3pm
Iain Turner, John Ruddy, Mark Hughes, Joseph Yobo, Alan Stubbs, Leon Osman, Mikel Arteta, Phil Neville, Bjarni Vidarsson, Andy Johnson, Victor Anichebe, Patrick Boyle, Stephen Connor, Alan Kearney, Scott Phelan, Darren Dennehy, Scott Spencer.
Port Vale v Everton – Vale Park 3pm
Richard Wright, Jamie Jones, John Irving, David Weir, Joleon Lescott, Gary Naysmith, Andy van der Meyde, Lee Carsley, Simon Davies, Kevin Kilbane, James Beattie, James McFadden, Ryan Harpur, John Paul Kissock, Lee Molyneux, Steven Morrison.