Although, knowing footballer's legendary wit (second only to mine!), they'll probably just stick with ‘Andy'. Or, at a push, ‘Meydey'.
Anyway, the one man crime wave continues as, just a week after allegedly having his drinks spiked, van der Meyde has just had his Ferrari, Mini Cooper and Mac robbed.
The Mac in question is neither a home computer nor a Caramac coloured rain coat, rather it's the Dutchman's seven month old pedigree Dogue de Bordeaux puppy.
For all you dog-watchers out there, a Dogue de Bordeaux is the breed of dog that co-starred alongside everyone's favourite everyman, Tom Hanks, in Turner and Hooch.
Not the Ferrari
To me, it sounds like what some beered-up
“Er…excusey me…Ou est my…er…dog? My er…dogue? MY FACKIN DOGUE YOU FACKIN FRENCH TART!”
I know it's an unlikely scenario but you never know!
In addition to the pedigree pooch, van der Meyde also had a Ferrari and a Mini Cooper stolen from his house in High Bromborough.
It all took place between 1.30 and 5.30 on Saturday afternoon, right at the time that the Dutchman would have been at Goodison for the Dome's testimonial.
But, given the Dutchman's sporadic appearance record, the burglars were taking a bit of a risk if they were taking it for granted that he wouldn't be at home on a Saturday afternoon!
It's not all bad news though as it looks like his Ferarri has turned up as one was found with the windscreen smashed outside the Showcase Cinema on the
Forensic Police are currently examining the car but it doesn't exactly take Hetty Wainthrop to deduct that it probably didn't belong to anyone who'd popped into the Showcase to catch a matinee.
Having said that, Miami Vice is now showing…