Wolves' chairman Jez Moxey (wasn't he the scouser in Auf Weidersein Pet?) is confident that the deal will go through as he has said that Lescott has passed his medical, discussions with Everton are ongoing and "the devil is in the detail". Whatever that means.
The are a few theories as to why the transfer has stalled, but the most seem to invlove his dodgy right knee. The club have, apparently, requested to see some scans he had done last season before they push on with the £5million deal.
It's unclear what actually happened to his knee and forced him to miss the whole of the 2003/04 season but everyone's favourite rumour seems to centre around some shady Wolverhampton gangsters...imagine that?!
As you probably know by now, the story is that he was 'knocking about' with some girl connected to the Fowler family (hopefully she was called Pauline), Wolverhampton's maddest mad Frankie types who'd stick your head in a vice as soon a look at you!
Anyway, after several warnings to 'leave our fackin girl alone' (even though they're from the Black Country you still imagine them to have a cock-er-ney twang) Joleon was still seen to be canoodling with her in various (ca)noodle bars about the place and duly had his knee caps...er...capped!
Hence he missed the 2003/04 season as he was having them re-built by the world's foremost and, it seems, only knee specialist, Dr Richard Steadman.
To make matters worse, Lescott's knees were already being held together by pritt stick and crocodile clips after he was run over as a kid and dragged half a mile by a car. Apparently this is also the reason his head looks like a Predator's.
My favourite rumour though, is that he was out drinking with Mikael Forrssell one night and, as he tried to get out of his seat to get the next round of Pimm's in, he accidentally brushed legs with the Finnish albino forward and caught a dose of his knee termites.
But that may be a complete lie.
Ditto the story about the fackin Fowlers.
And the one about him getting run over.
In other news, the megastore's still shut. And that one is true!